Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
My room smells like vodka and shame
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He? As in you personified your dick?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
