Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
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