Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Randomize
