this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
