I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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