I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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