Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i just had sex bonerless
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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