the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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