we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
