i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
