everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
