Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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