He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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