I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
