Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
