Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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