yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Randomize
