I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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