Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
