Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
This is classic penis vs brain.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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