I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
