i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Don't make out with my wife yet
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
