How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
the condom got lost in my hair
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
