chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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