Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
