I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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