I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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