K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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