I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
another moral hangover. fuck.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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