i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
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