Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
