you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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