i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
