Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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