We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
We named our party play list daddy issues
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Randomize
