We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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