At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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