I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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