is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
