I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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