I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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