Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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