are you so shy because you have an std?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
