too bad you live with your parents still
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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