My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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