awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He passed out mid-signature
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
