Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
