Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
