Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
