I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Randomize
