He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize