his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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